توجيهات في تربية الأبناء والبنات

توجيهات في تربية الأبناء والبنات

روى أبو داود بسنده عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال “مُرُوا أَوْلاَدَكُمْ بِالصَّلاَةِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِينَ، وَاضْرِبُوهُمْ عَلَيْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرِ سِنِينَ، وَفَرِّقُوا بَيْنَهُمْ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ”، وفي رواية عند الترمذي: “علموا الصبي الصلاة ابن سبع سنين واضربوه عليها ابن عشر”.

هذا الحديث الشريف المنيف يحفظه جمع غفير من الآباء والأمهات، إلا أنّ فهمهم وتنزيلهم له على أرض الواقع فيه نوع من القصور والبُعد عن مقتضاه، فكثير منهم من يعمل به مع الأولاد دون البنات، مع أنّ الحديث يحث على تعليم الصغار وأمرهم بالصلاة بنين وبنات على حدّ سواء، فلفظ مروا أولادكم، وعلموا الصبي، يستوي فيه المذكر والمؤنث. هذا عن المعنى الأول للحديث والذي يخفى عن بعض الناس.

أما المعنى الثاني فإن الحديث ورد بلفظ مروا أولادكم، وعلموا الصبي، وعن هذا يقول الإمام العلقي في شرح الجامع الصغير “يعلمونهم ما تحتاج إليه الصلاة من شروط وأركان ويأمرونهم بفعلها بعد التعليم”. ومما جاء في شرح الحديث أيضا، يجب على الوليّ إذا ميّز الصبيُّ أن يعلمه ما يجب اعتقاده، في حق الله تعالى وحق رسوله وحق سائر الرسل عليهم الصلاة والسلام، وأن شرائعهم نُسخت كلها بشريعة نبينا التي لا تنسخ أبداً، ويعلمه أحكام الشرائع ليَرسَخ ذلك عنده، فالعلم في الصغر كالنقش في الحجر.

إذن؛ من الأمور المطلوبة من أولياء الصبي والصبية تعليمهم أمور الدين عامة، وتعليمهم الصلاة بصفة خاصة، والحرص كل الحرص على أن يأخذ الأبناء بذلك وهم في زمن الصِبا، وأن لا يؤخر ذلك إلى أن يحتلم الفتيان أو تبلغ البنات، فقد يفوتهما بعض التكليف، والأشد من ذلك أن يكبر الغلام وتكبُر البنت ويشتد عودهما دون أن يُعوّدا الصة، وما يلزمها من العلم بأحكام الطهارة وشروط الصلاة وغير ذلك.

هذا وإنّ كثيرا من الآباء يحرصون على تأدية الأولاد للصلاة، لأن الولد يُرافق أباه، وأما البنت فمَن الذي يحرص عليها؟ وإذا كانت تؤدي الصلاة وتقيمها بأمر من أبيها أو أمها، فماذا عن الحجاب الذي أمر الله به؟

إن هذه المسألة الشرعية صارت خافية على كثير من الآباء والأمهات، غفلوا أو تغافلوا عنها، أو أنساهم الشيطان ذكرها، لأجل هذا لا بد أن نعلم أنّ مِن أَجَلّ نِعم الله تعالى أن وهب للإنسان مرحلة الطفولة، وميّزها عن سائر الكائنات، فمن مميّزات مرحلة الطفولة الإنسانية أنها طويلة تمتد لسنوات، حتى يكسب الإنسان الكثير من فنون المعاملة والسلوك، وحتى يستطيع الوالدان والمربي أن يغرسوا في نفس الطفل ما يريد، وأن يُوجهوه حسب الخطة التي يرسمها.

ومن النعم التي وهبها الله للإنسان زمن الصبا أنه يكون على الفطرة، ويكون على الصفاء والمرونة، ويكون صفحة بيضاء يخط فيها وليّه ما يشاء، فما يتربى عليه الصغير ذكرا كان أو أنثى يثبت مدى الحياة، ولذلك يقول نبيّنا عليه الصلاة والسلام “مَا مِنْ مَوْلُودٍ إِلاَّ يُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ وَيُنَصِّرَانِهِ وَيُمَجِّسَانِهِ”، من هنا يتبيّن أن مسؤولية الوالدين تجاه الأبناء تبدأ مع الولادة، ويُطلب منهما الاهتمام والرعاية كلما تدرّج الأبناء في سِنِي عُمرهم، فإذا ما بلغوا السابعة وجب تعليمهم أمر الدين، ومن ذلك الحجاب بالنسبة للفتاة، فتُلقّن عن الحجاب، فهو من شروط صحة الصلاة، وتُلقّن ضرورة السِتْر، وأن تختمر أي تُغطي رأسها وعنقها وغير ذلك، فتُلقن ذلك ولو أنها لم تُلزم بالحجاب بعد، لأنه إذا ثبتت هذه المعاني في نفس الفتاة كانت شخصيتُها أثبت وأرسخ أمام الهزات المستقبلية التي ستتعرّض لها في المستقبل.

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